The first 3 months of the year are almost over and I want to ask you Chumps som’n serious…..

Have you stuck to your New Year’s Resolution?

I already know the answer. Research suggest that 87% of you have left the whole damn thing totally, but its not to late to get back on track Chump. As a matter of fact, Ole Coach had a Chump moment and got off track too.

I told myself in 2007 that I would not hang around, associate or deal with anyone who was apathetic, a habitual complainer or an excuse maker. And I broke my resolution only to be frustrated because I was surrounded by dummies and people who want to blame situations on others instead of looking inside their own homes.

Well, NO MORE, because I told them MOTHERCHUMPERS to “git to steppin’” and I’m going my way and they can go on their “loser way”.  Because losers will always be loser because they do loser type shyt!!

So, do what I did, snap out of it, get out of the rut, dust yourself off and get back on the program. U can still be a Champ and not a Chump, but its up to U.

Take care Chumpion,

Ole Coach

I hope you all had a great weekend. I for one did not. I was Coaching all weekend and now I’m dog tired, but I’m still pressing on.

I had one heckuva time with one of my clients the week before last. She’s one of my track and field clients and I was telling her. “Look here lil’ mama, when you’re running the 800 meters you gotta get out and get rollin’.  What are you waiting for?” 

2 Weeks ago she ran 2:19 in the 800meter and I was really looking for a better time. We had a coaching call last week and went over some things and this past weekend she rolled through in 2:14.  I told her that we were looking for at 2:12 but 2:14 is good for right now.  We’re slowly creeping up on 2:10.  I believe she’ll break that in about 2 weeks.

I bet you want to know how I helped her shave 5 seconds off of her time.

Here’s what I did……..

I simply asked her, “What in the hell are you afraid of!?!?!  Run!!”

That was it. I mean really, what’s the worst thing that is going to happen if she attacks the 800meters?  The answer: Her time is gonna drop like never before and she’s gonna be tired, like never before. That’s about it.  Other than that, what’s the big deal?

So the lesson for you is…. Don’t be a Chump! Attack the things that you want. The worst thing that will happen is that you will fail and accomplish more than you ever have in your life. The best thing is – - you’ll get what you strived for.

Reach for the stars Chump, that way if you miss, you can still hang out on the moon.

Ole Coach.

Stop your belly-aching, your excuse making, your “I don’t have time” statements, and stop singing the “it’s too hard” song.

The bottom line is you need to condition yourself to walk through hell with gasonline draws on if you want to be the best.  Ask any woman and she’ll tell you that giving birth is no easy task.  It isn’t, but there’s a reason why people call babies “a bundle of joy”. 

It’s because the REWARD is great because the LABOR is too.  When the LABOR is great, the reward brings about a feeling of joy. So don’t shy away from hard work, don’t curse things because they are not easy. Attack problems, situations, and opportunities for longsuffering with the tenacity of a pitbull. 

Only then will you see that is there aren’t any Labor Pains, there won’t be any baby.

So stop whining like a bytch and look hard tasks in the face and and attack them like dog on a postman.

Take Care Chumps,

Coach Ferguson

P.S. Before you go to bed tonight. Make sure you drop down and give me 20 pushups. With your luck, that may be the only workout you’ll get this evening  :-0  Haaaaaaaaaaa.  That’s your new name – “One Pump Chump!!”

P.P.S. Ole Coach is getting ready to come out with his new Workout – The Backyard Workout. It will be here soon.

Just like winning begets winning, losing begets losing and losers tend to pass down loser qualities to their children. I noticed something about chumps, they have chump type characteristics. 

Chumps will ALWAYS be chumps until they decide to be something else. My New Year’s Resolution for this year was to elimit as much contact as I possibly could with losers, chumps and those with a defeated mentality. What I found out is that people don’t really like people, they are tolerant of people.

For example, The Health and Wellness Queen is able to tolerate me, my person, who I am and my idiosyncrisies, and I am able to tolerate hers. And we get along. Other people can’t tolerate me and I can’t tolerate them. And then there are some people who you can tolerate to an extent. So here’s what you do.

Those that you can tolerate, you can have substantial contact with those people. Those who you can tolerate somewhat, you have limited contact with and those who you can’t tolerate, you should have as little contact with them as possible.  It’s that easy and that simple. Don’t get caught up in what you like or what you don’t like. That’s bullshyt!!

Worry about what you can and cannot tolerate. If you can’t tolerate certain behavior, then remove yourself from around those that exhibit it. And beat it.

Coach Ferguson had to fire another client last week, because he COULD NOT TOLERATE the behavior of the client. Coach Ferguson STILL likes the client and thinks the client is a great person, but Coach Ferguson just cannot tolerate some shyt.

Like I can’t stand disrespectful children. I cannot tolerate people who do not work out. I have a very low tolerance for children who don’t do well in school. I have SUPER low tolerance for people who talk tough until its time to get down to business. If you talk tough, you should be tough enough to take a shot from the person you’re talking too. If that’s not the case, well, then shut the f— up!!

My tolerance is low for low achievers, whiners and users of the word can’t. It’s low for people who constantly use excuses like, “That’s a lot of work” or “that’s too much time.” My question to them is, “Where in the hell do you have to go?”

Let’s get this str8.  DO NOT CALL ME, EMAIL ME, OR ASK ME TO HELP YOU IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO IMPROVE. If you want to talk about improving, shoot the shyt, or hang out. Go and find one of your chump friends to do that with. If you want to go to the next level, then holler at me and I’ll be willing to help you. I’m not here to talk to you about the labor pains, I’m here to help you deliver the baby!!

So do your job Chump and PUUUUUUSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Ole Coach

The Eyes Cannot See What the Brain Cannot Comprehend  

It has often been said during that “when the student is ready, then will the teacher appear.” And such is the case with the saying, the “eyes cannot see what the brain cannot comprehend” and that is and has been very true. But the key to “seeing” is not in the comprehending. The ability to “see” comes with the willingness of refusing to be blind. This is a conceptual stance that requires one to be “open” and to be willing to learn new things, new concepts, new moves, new training techniques and new methodologies and modalities. The traditional stance, which is very necessary when it comes to the preservation of tradition, sometimes is the limiting factor in terms of innovation and the development of new ideas. Some people forget that before things became “traditional” they were “new”.See Chumps, Older does not mean better and newer does not mean better. Older means older, newer means newer and better means better. If the old way is better, then by all means – let’s do it. If the new way is better, then by all means – let’s do it. But there is no way to differentiate which methodology is better without “seeing” it. That means that comprehending is paramount. And you can only comprehend what you are willing to learn. When we read our ability to read is not based upon us reading aloud, our ability to read is based upon what it is that we comprehend. But we cannot comprehend what we do not read. We cannot comprehend anything if we don’t input anything to comprehend. And the more we read, the more we input, the richer our thought processes and ability to analyze becomes.

R and B singer Beyonce Knowles has a new song out called “Let me Upgrade You” and it is quite a nice song but the premise of the song is to allow her to bring “you” up to another level.

In the airline industry often times you will be offered or sold and upgrade in order to allow you to experiece life different than the other passengers. The amenities that you are afforded through or by way of an upgrade are better than what the others experience. Usually this upgrade is provided because you have 1. paid for it or 2. you have been provided it as a reward for being long time customer.

Well since Coach Ferguson has had is blog up and running for quite sometime now, he would like to offer you an UPGRADE for your life. So here’s your FREE Uprgrade for today.

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       THE MARCH UPGRADE
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I found out something that was very difficult to accept. It was hard to swallow and it was something that I really couldn’t grasp mentally. I realized this weekend while coaching at the New York Judo Open that some people really do not want to succeed. I mean, they act like they do, but they never really committ 100% to a task because they always want to have the OPTION to say, “Well, I wasn’t really trying. Had I tried, I would have blah blah blah.”  

I’ve seen it so many times and to be honest it is one of the worst forms of cowardice there is – THE FEAR OF FAILING is something that we all have to deal with. The hardest thing about the Olympic Games is the understanding that you only have 1 chance every four years to make the team. The realization makes earning an Olympic Team spot a major accomplishment in sport and life. But it also requires for you to committ to the process  100%.

If you are going to do something in your life. Do EVERYTHING that you can legally and possibly do to achieve that goal. If you don’t do that then you really DO NOT WANT TO BE GREAT.

Today’s upgrade advice is –> Champions do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. They don’t whine, they don’t cry, they don’t question, they don’t ask, the MOTHERCHUMPIN’ just DO!!!!

I hate to quote Nike, but really Chumps……… Just Do it.

If you need some help. Some FREE help, you can grab The Inner Realm at www.theinnerrealm.tv

Get it and lemme upgrade ya,

Coach Ferguson

Disclaimer: Ole Coach Ferguson is in no way associated  with Rhadi Ferguson (who happens to be another Coach Ferguson). I’ve heard of this Rhadi Ferguson dude and I think he’s an alright guy, as a matter of fact I even like some of his products, but to be honest, he’s a phukin’ Chump too and if he doesn’t think so tell him to call me at 1-800-UMA-CHUMP give me a time where we can square off. And I’ll put my foot so far up his butt that I’ll have to reach up to his nose just to tie my shoes.

Ole Coach, will beat him like he stole som’n. So, I just had to get that str8, because Rhadi has been emailing me and complaining because we have the same last name. SO WHAT! He outta be happy about it. But thank God we’re not related. I don’t want that bytch in my blood that brings out Chump Moments!

Listen up idiots! If you don’t do this then I’m not talking to you so don’t get offended or start whining, Chump >:-|

Look here….. and read this very carefully, because you may have to tell this to one of your friends.

Okay, here we go….

Gym Mistake #1

Stop phuking watching me in the gym! I’m not your personal trainer, your exercise buddy or your teacher. Stop watching me and then doing every exercise that you see me do. GET your own program you copy-cat motherchumper!  And NO!! You can’t work in for a set, just so you can create small talk in order for you to ask me the constant most irritating gym question, “So, what does that work?”  I’m working out you slob, and apparently you are here to annoy me, bug me and impede my progress. Stop it. And go hop on the motherchumping treadmill and walk yourself to the land of slim. Beat it!  >:-|

Gym Mistake #2

Listen lady, I know you have great self-esteem and you’re very secure with you body and you don’t mind showing it off, but please…… If you have more rolls than Dunkin Donuts, then by all means wear something that is comfortable but not revealing. Now I know your dumb @ss is saying, “Well, if you don’t like it, don’t look.”  Well, that’s fine, but your blubber is like not trying to see an elephant in an elevator, its just not possible. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all about being FEXY (that’s a contraction for fat-n-sexy). I mean really. Ole Coach has had some pleasantly plump ones in his day, but they knew how to operate within their fexiness. Baby gurl…………. to be very blunt, a halter top and skimpy shorts (or spandex) just aint for you. Get you some nice Dri-fit, a sweet pair of sneakers, and some jogging pants and go to work.

You’ll still be doin’ it. And heck, you may even get what you came to the gym for – a man. 

Mistake #3

Using the recumbent bike. ALL RECUMBENT BIKE USERS ARE PUSSIES!. There, I said it. Now I feel a whole lot better.

Mistake #4

Please use a towel when you are in the gym. When you’re sweating out last weekend’s liquor fest and chicken grease out of your skin, the last thing that I want to do is bathe in it. Wipe it up and keep it moving.

Ole Coach is about to get raw and over the top in the next couple of weeks. If you can’t take it, then G.D.F. and that means git da  ______.

Until next time Chumps,

Ole Coach

P.S. Maybe if you all did some pushups and situps you’d be better off. If I would have never lost my job with the school district as a phys. ed teacher a lot of you would be in better shape.  Just imagine if I would have had Brintney Spears in my class.  I would have whipped her into shape and her kitty kat would not have been so wrinkled. Climbing up and down the rope in  gym class has a way of keeping ones body tight. 

 >:-|    Arrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ONE MORE THING………… If you think for one moment that I don’t love you, think again. I do, I’m just trying to help you. Obviously the massage and caress type of teaching hasn’t helped you. It’s turned you into one soft Chump. You whine, cry, use the word “can’t”, complain, don’t push, and think that life is supposed to whip out a huge tittie and let you drink milk. NO!!  It doesn’t work like that and Ole Coach is here to not only help you, but save your life. So take my advice, as over the top as it may seem, as pain medicine. Take it now to reduce your pain later.

Just think of it as the Preemptive Pill (thanx Bush).

What’s going on Chumps?

I was working out this morning in my Backyard doing my Backyard Workout and I had my Ipod on and I was listening to James Brown. And I was working out and doing the Coach Ferguson 2-step boogie, which I know you wanna see, but you ain’t ready for all that yet Chump!!!

So I was working out and I was listening to some ole school James Brown and the JB’s. And I was dancing back in forth in between sets to keep my heart rate elevated and then I thought, “Man, James Brown is outta here!”  And then right after that thought, the song “On The Good Foot came on. And I immediately told myself that that is what I was going to write about today….

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Get on the Good Foot!!!

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In life many times we are defined by the steps in which we take. I know that in the 100m dash, it is important to be the on stepping out of the bloks first. You want to do this so that you can start off the race in the lead with a good start out of the blocks. What you essentially want to do is as soon as possible, get on, The Good Foot.

Often times we stumble in life with our decision making processes. Sometimes we do things which yield undesireable results and things that, with the benefit of hindsight, would have been done differently.  And thus we stumble, are in the process of stumbling or falling, and are trying to gain our footing. What we are really trying to do is…. Get on The Good Foot.

The hardest part about getting on the Good Foot is finding out which foot is truly,  “The Good Foot”. I mean really, both feet actually look the same, they’re the same size, the same width and they are attached to the same body. But what makes a foot “good” or “bad” is the same thing that makes a tree good or bad. A tree is labeled by the fruit it bears and a good foot is labeled by the steps that it takes.  If you are walking in a righteous path then you are on the good foot. If you are doing things to help not only yourself, but also others, then you are on the good foot.

But if you are living your life like a mothersumpin’ Chump and always trying to circumvent the difficult things in order to find a shortcut or easy way out then you are on the wrong foot Chumpy and you need to get it together, drop down on your face and crank out some pushups.

If you are not on the good Foot, DON’T GET FRUSTRATED AND CUT OFF YOUR HAIR like Britney. Don’t turn to drugs or the bottle, don’t look to the left or dthe right. Look at the person that made the step. – LOOK AT YOU. I hate to quote Michael Jackson, but- look at the Man in the Mirror. 

You can get on the good foot today, but you can’t do it without – you.    Re-read my poem that is a couple of posts below to help you get on the Good Foot.

Take care Chumps,

Ole Coach

Look, Coach Ferguson knows what Britney Spears’ problem is, just like you do. She has a case of the “too much too fasts”.  That’s right, the “too much too fasts”.

She, like many young pop stars, actors, and famous folks didn’t have much time to experience being a child and chilling and now with a baby, a divorce under her belt and the exposure of her second set of lips for the whole world to see – she’s had enough.

Not to mention, she’s on every tv station and has one of the most search names on Google and Yahoo! 

Hey, if Britney wants to shave her hair – LET HER! If she doesn’t want to wear underwear because she wants to feel free – FINE! (I thought the pictures were okay) If she wants to drive in a car without her baby in a car seat (well….. that’s not okay) – but you understand my point.

Leave the lady alone. She has problem that can only be fixed in rehab or a 1 week Coaching Intensive with Coach Ferguson. Other than that, she’ll be hurtin’ for certain.

But as quiet as it is kept, I am feeling the bald look Britney! 

Ole Coach, likes a woman who knows what she wants.  Pardon me,

like I was saying. If you want to help Britney, pray for her, provide her with some well wishes, tell her to call me or hop onto www.coachferguson.com and let her know that trhese things are occuring in her life because of all the aforementioned but mainly because she having a …………….(drum roll please)………..

SHE’S HAVING A CHUMP MOMENT!!

All Chumps have ‘em, hell even some Champs have ‘em too. This will pass. If Mariah made a comeback, Britney can do it. 

Britney, get on your face and give Ole Coach 20 pushups and get your act together baby. You are giving other Chumps hope and encouragement that Chumpdom is a great place to stay. It’s not! 

U have to change U.

Til the next time Chumps,

Ole Coach