You all know that I’m pretty intimate with you about my life. So much so that I run into people on the street and they ask me how are my children Rufus and Rhadi doing and I’m like, “Bro. have I met you before?”
And the reply is always something like, “I’m your friend on Facebook” or “I get your emails.”
Well, if you don’t know, we’ve recently moved my mother-in-law with us. My wife decided to “retire” her mother, so….. she’s officially retired.
It has been a real pleasure having her around and I don’t have any of the horror stories that some speak about or have. None!
But we did hit a brief (ok, maybe not brief, but…) bump in the road when she moved in.
If You Don’t Know Me
I Can Come Off As
If you don’t know me, I can come off as very RIGID.
I’m a very regimented dude. You can ask my man, Lloyd Irvin about me or any of my other friends and they’ll tell you.
When I got some stuff that I do… I stick to it. Call it the engineering steady state / steady flow principle. But whatever you do… DO NOT MESS WITH MY STATE AND WITH MY FLOW!!!!
THAT IS A “NO-NO”.
In my home we have food rules.
These rules are very simple.
Violators or the rules, will not be tolerated. This is a huge point of contention with my parents because they violate my rules all the time. My mom calls me “The Food Police” LOL.
All I know is this…. I like looking the way that I look, I love the way my wife looks and I know where I’m weak.
Be not fooled.
If doughnuts are in my home….. I WILL EAT THEM.
If chocolate cake is in my home…. I WILL EAT IT.
If there’s ice cream in my freezer…. I WILL EAT IT.
Whatever is in my home….. I WILL EAT!!!
Therefore, I have very simple rules. Some food rules that were hard for my mother-in-law to follow at first.
And I don’t explain about the violation of the rules. You’ll figure it out because when you wake up in the morning, your “bad” foods will no longer be around.
Here Are The Rules…..
(more or less)
NO BREAD. I don’t give a d@mn what type of bread you think is good bread. Let’s be honest. You have bread, you will make sandwiches. You will bread yourself to death. So, here’s a simple rule. NO BREAD. Done!
No sugared drinks.
I needn’t tell you what happened one day when she walked into my home with sweet tea in her cup. I flipped open the top, poured it down the sink and then made her a fresh cup of sweet tea with some zero calorie sweetener. I made a fresh hot pot of tea, poured it over some ice, and topped it off with lemon juice and she was pleased.
BUT REST ASSURED. YOU WILL NOT DRINK DIABETES WATER IN MY HOUSE!!!!!!
No cakes, no pies, no sweets, no candy, no cookies, no ritz crackers, AT ALL!!!!! Try it if you like, you’ll go to sleep and it will be gone in the morning. There’s a zero tolerance rule here.
If you are not sure if its going to make it through the night…. save your money and don’t buy it!
No cereal. No cereal. No *^%*(@&$ cereal. Why? I have a cereal problem. I can’t just eat one bowl. And it’s my house. If I have a problem, you have one. NO CEREAL! Done! There is no democracy here. My wife and I agree on the rules… I ENFORCE THEM AND WE ALL LOOK GOOD!
DO NOT BRING ANY FAST FOOD OVER THE THRESHOLD OF MY DOOR. Now, dig it, my man Rufus is a kid. He like to eat a “Happy Meal” every now and then. Hell, Mickey D’s is doggone near a rite of passage for kids. I ate it too. But my man, finishes it in the car, NEVER sees Daddy eat it and the bag goes in the garbage. Only thing that makes it in the house is the toy!!
Now please understand this…. I KNOW my mother-in-law can’t help herself and she goes to a fast food joint every once in a while. We spoke about this and she laughed and asked me how did I know. I told her, I’ve been doing this job for years. I know when you are hiding. You should be in the 230s. She laughed and said that she misses her Big Macs. No PROBLEM. You can have them, every once in a while, enjoy life, but you can’t sit down on the coach and eat them here. NOBODY CAN!
If you are not sure your food is going to make the cut don’t buy it!
If you have to read the label on the food too long in order to justify your purchase….. DON’T BUY IT.
If you have to hide in the car to eat the food. DON’T BUY IT.
If you think you’ve grown a “pair” and are going to waltz your arse in my home and try me by bringing some non-compliant foods in my ZONE….. TRY IT. PLEASE TRY IT. PLEASE!!! (You will be the subject of my next email titled: “Man loses eye over McDonalds Apple Pie, but can now see friend’s point of view better”
IT’S THAT SIMPLE
Now what is hard is to do all of this by yourself.
My mother-in-law, basically is getting coaching by living with me.
She is super happy. Her friends compliment her all the time and my wife is glad that her mom is healthier. She’s literally “shrinking” away.
Now, with all of this, we still cover food education and she does snack when she’s outside, but the home is not a safe haven for poor food choices.
Just think about how many times some of you have DEVOURED a tub of ice cream, a ream of cookies. a box of saltine crackers, or 3 or four multilayered sandwiches on the coach or in the bed, in front of the television.
If you had me in your home saying, “Hey, DON’T BAKE A CAKE TODAY. MAKE A FRUIT SALAD” or if you had me in your home saying, “Look CHUMP, the reason why you are overweight is because you are eating like an overweight person. If you start eating like a slim person, you’ll be slim. Is this an overweight decision or a slim decision?”
Because I’m not there!!!
BUT I COULD BE! (okay, here’s where the pitch comes in…..LOL)
Making poor decision in terms of eating is flat out CHUMP behavior.
If you want to do better, stop being a CHUMP!
You can run until your legs cramp, walk until your shoes wear out, lift until your head explodes and swim until you turn into a fish. If YOU DO NOT eliminate the CHUMP MOMENTS when it comes to food selection, you will not make it.
You MUST transform your mind and stop being a CHUMP.
You Want My Help?
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Don’t delay. Get on it today.
Remember, the difference between being a Champ or a Chump is “U”.
P.S. Here’s the bottom line. You spend $20 bucks on pizza, $40 on a nice dinner, $70 on “dinner and a movie”, $50 on a couple of drinks at the club, $600 on a vacation to eat like all the food in the world is going to disappear tomorrow, but you are having a problem making a small “drop in the bucket” investment in making a quality decision in your life. STOP BEING A CHUMP and click here >> http://www.ChumpRepellent.com <<<< NOW!!!!!
P.P.S. Dale Carnegie, who was famous for his ability to get the most out of people and show them how to climb the ladder of success said this, “ Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.”